all you netizens

I don’t normally talk about my faith at work. I’m one of those — “let your actions do most of the talking” — kinds of girls. When the opportunity arises, or if there is an open window to talk about my faith, I’ll say, “I GO TO CHURCH!” Because it is the best way to tell if someone is a follower of Christ.

If I’m chatting with people, I’ll make jokes about work at work. That’s always a winner. Or I’ll just talk about my weekend or something like that. I don’t know if people can tell I’m a believer. I’m winning souls for the Kingdom, a soldier in God’s Army, an everyday missionary! All these stock phrases in the arsenal of your twenty-something year-old, ironically trendy, tattooed pastor, but everything I want to do and be. One of the nurses is an obvious believer. I hate to say it, but almost stereotypically so because she’s black and says things like “Ohhhweeee, Lawd Jesus he’p me get through the day! Amen and amen!” And one time, when the doctor was out of the office, she turned up the volume of her Christian rap music on her iPhone and asked me, “Do you like Christian rap?” I said no very abruptly because she tends to rattle on if she senses you’re in the mood to talk. I’m kind of an expert at keeping conversations open-ended when they need to be, or closing conversations with a comment that invites no response. It’s, like, my thing. Anyway, I said no abruptly because I had a lot of work to do, but I realized it sounded mean after I said it. It’s also, like, my thing not to be mean. But sometimes all of this fails, and I just turn out an awkward. Just an awkward. Which is also my thing. Luckily, I got a second chance, and she asked me if I’ve heard of Christian rap before. I contemplated for a quick second whether or not she was proselytizing me. I don’t even know if I used that word correctly, but I think it makes me sound smart. Proselytize. I decided she wasn’t and said, “Yeah, but I don’t like it.” Which I realized maybe made me sound like a heathen after I said it because of how I said it. She turned it off. I felt bad. Second chance ruined. Rap, in general, is not my thing.

Someone is talking in very loud Vietnamese on the street, and it’s distracting me.

So, of course, when I said “yeah, but I don’t like it” to Christian rap (which I feel is a beast of a topic in itself), one of the other girls heard me. She laughed about it later and whispered to me that the nurse is always talking about Jesus. And I was just like, “Hahah…yeah…always talking about Jesus…”. I knew this was the perfect moment to talk about Jesus some more, but I didn’t because some subconsciously-learned social cue told me not to. So instead, I’m writing all of this out on my blog because I don’t have to follow any social cues on the Net. Netizens are perfectly couth. LOL (written with a completely straight face).

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This Thanksgiving and Christmas will be spent with my precious llama, Stan, in Chicago. I’m a little sad we can’t go home for the holidays, but also kind of excited we get to start our own holiday traditions as our own little family. Weird! We should cut down our own turkey and decorate it with tinsel and roast a Christmas tree with all the stuffing. Maybe I’ll tape Christmas stockings onto a window because we don’t have a fireplace.

I’m going to make Paula Deen’s baked Brie for a church potluck on Saturday, and spend actual Thanksgiving Day with our pastor, pastor’s wife, and other in-town misfits! Glory.

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